The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/07/08
Great story... I thought your repetition of the 'red bonnet with dots' was effective.

The only thing I found disconcerting was near the beginning -- 'the first time I held it, I was six years old.' It gave me the expectation that the story would carry into the future, but it seemed to have taken place in a short time span.

Good job.
03/09/08
Wow.. amazing story. Amazing. I had the same desire growing up.. I devoured the Little House books. You brought out her passion for it beautifully as well as her love for her grandma and the conflict. Maybe just show her emotion to us instead of telling us.
03/10/08
Lovely article, full of nostalgia.
A beautiful story. I liked the repetition in this piece. It worked well. Thank you for sharing this. :)
03/10/08
Very nice writing. I like the repeated phrase, also. Keep up the good work!
Laury
The repeated phrase and the story in general really worked. If I was to change one thing, it would be to comment on how your grandmother was personally connected to its bonnet, but it's fine as is. Lovely writing.
Wonderful story! I loved every bit of it. The repitition definitely added to the charm. Very well done!
Touching personal narrative, well written. :)