Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Every Dark Cloud has a Silver Lining" (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (02/28/08)

TITLE: A well-worn ball cap
By Tessy Fuller
02/29/08


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

It was a beautiful day and a light breeze floated her hair lightly off her shoulders. She watched the clouds drifting above. It was a perfect day to get lost in thought and it was not long before all sense of reality slipped away. The memories fogged over her like a dream.

The music seemed to reverberate to the beating of heart as she entered the crowded room. Her darkened eyelashes were drenched in mystery. She cast a glance in his direction hoping he would be the one to solve it. She stood there unnoticed, watching him. She caught a smile escaping from her lips as he laughed at a joke someone told. A dentist could never achieve such a perfect smile. The dimples adorning it made it even more endearing.

Her thoughts flashed back to the first time she had seen him. He walked into class late. A well-worn ball cap pulled slightly over his eyes spoke of a late night. The professor’s lecture set a great stage for her to observe his habits each week. She would watch curiously as he would rub his thumb rhythmically across his palm when he was deep in thought. She wondered if she would ever be the source of that rhythm?

A class project changed her observation into an opportunity. He seemed to like her ideas. He listened to what she said. When she talked, he would look intently at her with undivided attention. When she would get too serious, he would always make her laugh. She wondered if the others in the study group noticed that she always sat by him at the table. More importantly, did he?

A burst of laughter from behind her brought her back to her senses. This party was her chance to get to know him outside of class. He had invited her after they had received a good grade on their project. He said she deserved it after working so hard. She took one last glance in his direction and then headed into the bathroom for one final look in the mirror. She nervously applied some lip gloss as she gazed at her reflection. The smell of strawberries seemed to float from her lips as she walked up to him and said, “Hey!”

The cry of the baby in her arms broke through her thoughts as the warm breeze swirled away the memories. The scent of strawberries merged into the reality of a freshly powdered diaper. She gazed down into the eyes of her baby boy and her heart was pricked with irony. Her innocence had been ripped from her in the most unjust of ways. She rocks the baby gently and his cries soon turn to smiles in her loving embrace. She reaches down and softly strokes the dimples in his chubby cheeks. The dimples that hold so much pain. The dimples that hold so much joy.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 522 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joshua Janoski03/06/08
Very good descriptions. I had no problem at all picturing the girl, the boy, or the baby.

However, I am trying to understand what your silver lining was. I took it that the baby was the silver lining to her mistake, and yet the baby also seemed to remind her of bad memories. It's probably just me over analyzing things.

Regardless, you definitely have writing talent, and I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing.
Chely Roach03/07/08
Oh, I liked this. I could feel the crush she had.
I think that I can see the topic...the MC was raped, and the baby was the silver lining. Great job.
Pamela Nastase03/07/08
Beautiful illustration of how God can turn all things for good... Good writing.
Holly Westefeld03/08/08
You captured the topic very well, and I like the subtlety in your writing.

I think you may have had words left, which you could probably use to good advantage for a bit more character development, and/or hints about the direction things took at the party.
Glynis Becker 03/09/08
I love your descriptions of the characters and would have enjoyed knowing more about what happened. Keep writing!
Laury Hubrich 03/09/08
Babies truly are a silver lining! I liked your descriptions in this piece. Keep on writing!
Laury
Jan Ackerson 03/10/08
Lyrical, moody--I like it.

A minor tense switch in the last paragraph, easy to fix.
Shirley McClay 03/10/08
The abrupt change near the end threw me a bit but very good imagery :-) Keep writing!
Jacquelyn Horne03/11/08
This is very deep, holding much truth in it. Truly a sweet, innocent baby is a silver lining to a cloudy experience.
Marlene Austin03/12/08
Nice entry. Good job. :)