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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Every Dark Cloud has a Silver Lining" (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (02/28/08)

TITLE: God is Love
By Nicole Lofton
02/29/08


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"Please don't leave me, I can't do this alone" This was the cry of a teenage girl who was left to take care of a baby on her own. Left in a home where once all her hopes and aspirations sat, now all her deepest fears have come. Not knowing what to do or who to run to, she tried something that she had never done before.She called on Jesus and he opened up her door. She said "Jesus I know I have failed you, I know I have sinned but please help me and I promise not to do it again". Jesus said to her " My father loves you despite your sin and because you believe in me you are forgiven but you must not sin again.He told her "be careful of the promises that you make". She said " Lord Jesus It was a promise that I was honored to make, you heard my cry and came to my need". "You noticed me when there one was no one else". " You loved me when no else did". " You birthed me and you are still here". Jesus said "My father will take care of you". "He will clothed you and give you food". "Remember to keep God first". "He will never put more on you than you can bare". "He loves you and was waiting on you to call on Him". "Give all your worries to Him and He will take care of them, do not ever be afraid to talk to him". As Jesus stared into the girl's eyes with so much love, he said to her " and finally remember that you may endure pain at night but joy will come in the morning". The young girl said " Thank You Jesus and Thank You Father God, I Love you more than you will ever know. God and his son both replied " We love you more than you will ever know too".


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This article has been read 416 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Laury Hubrich 03/06/08
I love this little dialogue with God. You have some problems with your quotation marks. If you would like help with it, why don't you PM me and I would be happy to share! Great job! Lovely story!
Laury
Joshua Janoski03/06/08
A very good little story. I think that the dialogue needs some spacing to make it easier to read. Perhaps put Jesus' dialogue in italics to separate it from the girls. Just a suggestion. Thank you for sharing.
Chely Roach03/07/08
I love seeing heartfelt conversations with God portrayed...especially those rooted in the depths of dispair.
Take Laury up on her offer...she is EXTREMELY helpful. Keep writing!
Shayne Catoe03/07/08
This was beautifully put:

"Please don't leave me, I can't do this alone" This was the cry of a teenage girl who was left to take care of a baby on her own. Left in a home where once all her hopes and aspirations sat, now all her deepest fears have come. Not knowing what to do or who to run to, she tried something that she had never done before.She called on Jesus and he opened up her door.

I really think your opening statement in quotations catches the readers eye well. I like this in a story. Some of what I've pasted above reads like free verse to me. Very pretty. Keep on writing.
Jan Ackerson 03/10/08
This is heartfelt and touching.

Work on punctuation and paragraphing, so that your piece will be more understandable to your readers.

Very sweet...keep writing!
Shirley McClay 03/10/08
So much truth in here... keep writing!