The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You certainly hit the topic with this entry. Good job. :)
Right on! It's so much easier just to mouth the words and never put action behind them. (You have a repeated line about halfway through your entry-it's easy to miss when you're proofing-a Challenge buddy could help to catch these little uh-ohs we often overlook.) Great take on the topic! Your characters really set the scene.