Laura stood on the threshold of decision, her heart beating a staccato rhythm against her chest. Her hands grew clammy thinking of the choice before her. Her mother’s voice echoed in the recesses of her mind. “Laura, you talk too much. Your inaction makes your words meaningless…” She didn’t allow herself to finish the thought. She’d heard it far too many times over the years.
The question that bounced around in her mind was like a ball in a racquet ball court. Would she just keep talking about what she wanted to do, or would she put feet to her words for once?
Fear kept putting out its size fourteen foot and tripping her. After making her fall so many times over the years, one would think she’d recognize it by now. She recognized it sure enough, but usually she was sprawled on the floor of her heart in a heap of doubt and self-loathing. That’s what fear did to her… every time.
Again her mother’s words came back to haunt her. She wondered if that was partially where the fear came from. Displeasing her mother… again. Was it a habit? Was she so used to failing and not moving forward, that all talk and no action had become the place she was most comfortable?
What was she to do?
Come to me.
Yes. Trust Me.
Well there’s a novel thought, considering I’m thinking of going on a mission trip. A smile played about Laura’s lips.
Going on a mission trip was something she’d been talking about with friends and family for a few years, always with a “some day” attached. She knew now, with a certainty that astounded her, that if she only kept talking about it, she would never go. The passion had always been there whenever she talked about it, but that monster, dread, forever held her back.
She pictured claws digging into her flesh… and mentally shook it off.
It was time to slay the giant.
She held up the shield of faith.
Amazing. I let the voice of Jesus penetrate the cloudiness of my mind and my thoughts go to things of Scripture… remembering how vital the armor is for my spiritual well-being.
Laura wished her mom were here so she could share with her the experiences in China. Not because she wanted to prove something to her (well maybe a little bit) that she had finally acted instead of just talking, but to be able to share with her all God done through her, in her, and around her. She wanted to see her mom’s excitement…
Wait a minute. Her mom’s excitement? It was in that moment something became as clear as a glass bottom boat. Her mom’s words had never been a put down - she just thought they were. With the glasses of her teenage heart put aside, she saw that her mom had always gently encouraged her. She hadn’t been willing to hear all her mom said to her, but only focused on the parts she thought were negative.
Tears ran a stream down her cheeks, hot and freeing. Thank you Mom, she whispered. I did it, Mom. I finally put feet to my words…
I’ll let her know. Laura heard the still small voice speak to her heart; the voice she had learned to know so well during her year in China.
Thanks, Jesus. And thank you for helping me slay the giant of fear.
You’re welcome, Daughter. I love you.
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