The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/28/08
Oh my-so much truth and emotion in this piece. It has many lovely and descriptive passages and really gets to the heart of this needy world. It's quite touching and well written.
03/03/08
You can hear the cries plainly!
Your format was a little hard to read. It might be best to put it into paragraphs, or if you want it to be like a poem, then try to create a rhythm to each line.
Well done. Keep writing.
So very true! We live in a world that needs to "see" cries for help being answered, and not just "hear" people talk about helping. very appropriate to the topic, and well written.

I agree that maybe using a different paragraph structure might help readability, but I still enjoyed this very much. :)