The Official Writing Challenge
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Quite an emotional story. Its hard to comment because it sounds like a personal experience. I would have liked to read more about the man who passed.
Very emotional story great job
This is very touching...love the beginning w/ the "escaped" balloon. With a bit tighter writing, this piece would double its impact. Nice job.
02/29/08
Wonderful writing, thanks for sharing. I liked the touching part about the balloon. God bless :)
03/01/08
An emotional story. Watch your use of dashes. They were a bit distracting and commas could be used instead. Keep writing.
03/02/08
Very touching and poignant.
I would have enjoyed a little more description of the people and the setting.
Good symbolism in the balloon. Keep writing.
This is sad and real. Thanks for sharing it.