The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
02/21/08
Wow, this really illustrates the power of evil!

I had some problems with the feasibility of the plot in places; are cyanide and poison and crossbows so readily available? And it seems improbable that the reconciliation would happen so quickly, and that she'd forget the poisoned mug. Unless you intended this as satire, perhaps?

The irony at the end is very wrenching and powerful.
02/21/08
How cold and crass Satan is. You portrayed this well. :)
02/21/08
You did an excellent job of showing how powerful, and real, demons are in this world.

I, too, had a bit of a problem with the plot line. I liked the direction you were going, but thought it got a little far-fetched.

Very good example of the proverb.
02/24/08
Well... Don't know if I've ever read anything like this before! I can certainly relate to the feelings this woman had. Jealousy can do crazy things with your mind, for sure. It would really help you if you got someone to proofread for you. You are creative, I will give you that! Keep on writing!
Laury
02/25/08
I had a great laugh all the way throught this. You have a great imagination - this would make a good story on 'desperate housewives'
Keep writing good work.