The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/21/08
Ooh, I love the message of this. We all need our inner child.

I'd suggest that you work on having a more consistent meter...a pattern of stressed and unstressed syllables, to establish a rhythm as your reader travels through your poem.

Thanks for this thought-provoker.
02/21/08
Very good. I thought at first it was going to be an imaginary friend:) Keep on writing, my friend!
Laury
Nice job. Sombering thought. Good writing. :)
Good poem. I think we all start to lose our inner child as we get older. I am working on getting mine back. :)

I would have liked to see more whitespace to make this easier to read, but I'm no poem expert, so always take my advice with a grain of salt. :)

Thanks for sharing!