The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/21/08
Good job with rhyme and meter, and with capturing the proverb. Ouch!

My only problem is with the word "cow", which is a female animal. Not sure how you can get around that one...

I definitely see some allegory here--good job!
02/21/08
What fun! I love your poem! Keep on writing!
Laury
Nice job putting this story to poem form. :)
Nice job putting this story to poem form. :)
This was a lot of fun, and a great take on the topic.
As per Jan's comment, were you to change the name to Bossy, all of the masculine and feminine pronouns are one syllable, so the shift should be seamless.
I must admit, I did have a little difficulty with the meter.
Didn't notice the gender difficulty till it was pointed out.

Had trouble with the meter and would have changed a few lines, but the plot and illustration was great.
This was a fun poem to read. I liked that you were able to craft a lighthearted piece that addresses a more serious topic. This would be a fun one to read the kids.

I didn't catch the gender problem the first time I read it. It's the little details that can sometimes throw you off. I know they do in my writing. :)

Thanks for sharing!
02/25/08
This was a LOT of fun to read. This line was a great description of Bully, "always the first one to eat at the trough" :) I like your title too. Nice work on this!! Keep writing!
02/26/08
Cute story set to rhyme!

Periods and commas always come before quotations marks regardless of logic, at least in the United States.

Great job with the topic. :)