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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Don't Cut off Your Nose to Spite Your Face" (without using the actual phrase or litera (02/14/08)

TITLE: A Secret
By W. Yvonne Birnell
02/19/08


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People now just love to talk
Without giving to much thought
To their words or their effect
Upon others minds and heart

So many times weíre tempted
To get even with that jerk
Now you must control yourself
Or else youíll go berserk

Yes all of us go through this
Speaking when we shouldíve stopped
Never quit conceiving though
Into fire we just hopped

When we go berserk you see
Itís ourselves we hurt the most
Other just keep moving on
While youíre totally engrossed

So engrossed you now have built
A prison around your mind
In that prison you will stay
Till forgiveness you do find

Iíve learned a little secret
Let God cover up your heart
Put them in Godís loving hands
From their words then you depart

Say, ď God is my avengerĒ
As you smile and move along
Knowing in your inner parts
Itís God who makes you strong


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This article has been read 443 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 02/21/08
Very good message--especially about unforgiveness being a prison. So true!

Be careful to use the right spelling of "too" (2nd line). And I'd suggest a second look at meter; this one's just a little bit jumpy.

I like your rhyming of "most" and "engrossed"--very good and effective rhyme.
Marlene Austin02/21/08
The "secret" has been told! Thanks. :)
Laury Hubrich 02/21/08
This poem has a very nice message! It would help if you asked someone to proof for you. Keep on writing!
Laury
Joshua Janoski02/25/08
I really liked this poem. The rhythm did seem to get off just a tad in spots, but I really liked the message and the overall feel of it. Thanks for sharing!