The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/21/08
Good example of the topic.

You can make your writing more compelling by adding more active verbs, a touch of dialogue here and there, some details to give us a sense of time and place.

Thanks for showing us how you applied this proverb in your real life!
02/21/08
Not ever working in the business world, it was a little hard for me to follow your train of thought. I liked your reference to Pinnochio at the end.
Keep writing.
Nice writing. :)
I'm new to the corporate world, but already I am beginning to see how bad decisions made by executives can hurt the company and its people.

I would have liked to see more dialogue between the woman and the men in order to make the story more engaging. However, I think the story worked ok as it was written. Keep on writing!