The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 515 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
02/21/08
Exactly right for this week's topic.

I'd really have liked to know more, though, and you had plenty of words. Who's the youth who popped his head in? What's more of this man's back story? How was this all able to happen in the middle of a trial? And the ending seemed a bit abrupt and too tidy.

I'd encourage you to expand your stories, use the full 750 words, and show your readers more plot development. You're definitely on the right track--keep writing!
02/22/08
Good descriptions in this piece. However, I felt something was missing. The last third seemed confusing and abrupt. Keep writing. This story has potential.
02/22/08
So sad... why would anyone do that?
I would have enjoyed a little more description of the characters and setting.
You've got an interesting story that could be expanded.
Keep writing.
02/25/08
Hi - I like your story plot, needs a bit more developing. Good work, keep writing.
Good story premise. It could use a little more finessing and it looks like you had room to spare in regard to the word count. It is difficult to write a short-story under the word count but it is often rewarding to the reader to expand it as much as possible.
Interesting approach to this topic. :)