The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/21/08
Wow, such an effort on Hillary's part to be accepted by Tyler. And in the final end he's the one with the Bible and a Christian girlfriend (I'm assuming she was a Christian). Good reminder for us to not try every desperate method to change ourselves in attempt to make others accept us! Good job!
~Crystal~
02/21/08
Great title! You've done a good job with the proverb, too.

A few things--it seems as if the kids are skateboarding right in the tattoo parlor...and I caught a "past" that should be "passed". Minor fixes.

I work with teens every day, and you've got them down pat.
You designed the characters and plot well. Good job. :)
02/22/08
A good story for teens. A few tiny errors. Keep writing.
02/22/08
Good writing. I liked your dialogue between the friends. I had a little trouble figuring out if they were in a building or just looking in the window.
Interesting ending.
Keep writing.
02/23/08
Oh so perfectly on topic. Great story, I loved this!
I liked the twist at the end when she sees Ty walk into church. This would make a great story for teens. Keep up the great writing! :)
I really enjoy stories with a twist like this one. Writing like this will bump you out of beginners before long! Keep it up.
I loved the end of this story. For all her trying to be cool and denying her faith for Ty, he ended in her church with another girl. It makes one wonder, was God putting Tyler in Hil's life to bring Tyler to Him? When Hil didn't follow God's plan. God found another way to bring Ty to Him. Great story. Keep writing.
Congratulations, Brigitte.
Aaah, the desire to be liked and accepted. We'll do almost anything and in the end lose.
Congratulation, Brigette, on your second place in Level 1 - Beginners... not a Beginner any longer - you've graduated!!
02/29/08
I really liked this story because it showed how teens try so hard to be accepted. Working with teens on a regular basis, I enjoyed how you captured this in a real-life situation.