The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/21/08
Cute!
Great example of the topic. Good job. :)
02/22/08
Cute story. I could see you writing more adventures based on these characters. Keep writing.
02/22/08
Oh, what a cute story! Yes, I too can see great potential for more adventures of these two. Keep up the great work! God bless :)
02/22/08
Cute! I wasn't sure how it related to the toic, but you used your dialogue very well.
Add a little more description and action and this could be a great children's story.
Keep writing.
Haha. This story is fun, and it made me laugh. I could just picture the wife mouse nagging the husband mouse about his eating habits. Very clever.

I saw the topic in there. Good job! I'd like to see more of these characters in future stories. :)
Quite an entertaining tale. Just a little extra time spent on the story might have helped add to the reader's enjoyment.

I would have given the cat a name and perhaps given a short history of the past interaction between the mice and the cat.
Very cute! I love stories from the animal's POV.
02/26/08
Your writing style is very advanced. Lots of poetic sentences with creative descriptions and alliteration throughout. Though I can see the topic some, it is always a plus when you REALLY nail the central theme and make it very obvious to the reader. This is a brilliant sentence:
A sudden blur of white fur announced the untimely arrival of the feline foe.
02/28/08
ARLENE! Congrats on the highly commended nod. You deserved it...what a great illustration of the proverb. Nice to have a FV friend already here at FW:)
Congratulations, Arlene.