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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Don't Cut off Your Nose to Spite Your Face" (without using the actual phrase or litera (02/14/08)

TITLE: Law of the Land
By Judy Watters


He was all boy, with a little bit of spunk and a lot of mean to go with it. His friends at school thought so, too. He was the one who always gave out the triple dog dares. But then he would back up all the dares by doing them himself. According to all the other 8-year-olds, Rodney was one tough dude. At school, Rodney was always king-on-the-mountain, snowball throwing champ, and hardest hitter on the baseball team. That was at school. At home, there was Virginia.
Big sister by three years, Virginia was queen of the farm. As tough as Rodney was, Virginia was tougher. No one stood up to Rodney like Virginia did, and Rodney quaked in his boots for no one…except Virginia. But Rodney had a tremendous flaw. He was a slow learner when it came to who was boss of the range, and sometimes he would have to be convinced all over again.
In the springtime, one of Rodney’s favorite pastimes was taking his bike up the little knoll outside the downstairs barn door and come splashing down through the constant puddle. This gave him hours of good mucky fun.
It just so happened that on one such occasion Virginia had stationed herself very close to that puddle. Rodney was in full swing and riding his at fastest speed through that puddle. Needless to say, Virginia got splashed! She warned Rodney not to do that again. This was one of those times when Rodney didn’t see Virginia’s “wisdom” until it was too late.
Rodney proceeded to splash through a second time, adding mud to the mess already oozing down Virginia’s overalls. Virginia calmly warned him a second time not to continue this nonsense. Virginia’s patience was wearing thin. Other than actually moving herself away from the mud puddle, what else could she do? So as Rodney hit that puddle for the third time, Virginia met his two front teeth with her fist. As Rodney stood bleeding, holding his teeth in his hand, Virginia cooly suggested that he better not tell Daddy!
Rodney thoroughly convinced of Virginia’s wisdom now cried, “I won’t! I won’t!”
You see, even children easily learn the “law of the land”. Some of us just need reminding once in a while.

1 Peter 2:13,14 “Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord’s sake; whether it be to the king, as supreme; 14 Or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well.”

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This article has been read 514 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 02/21/08
Really cute character study--I loved your first several sentences describing Rodney.

I can't find a connection to the proverb for this week, but I enjoyed reading this charming entry.
Yvonne Blake 02/22/08
Good descriptions! Good title!
I like the "triple dog dares".
It would help the reader to put an extra space in between your paragraphs.
I love the brother/sister interaction. I wanted more. Next time, use more of your 750 word count. I know you have more in you.
Keep writing.
Marlene Austin02/22/08
Nice job capturing a view of family relationships. :)
Joshua Janoski02/23/08
I enjoyed this brother and sister story. I just wish you had used more of your word count and expanded on it. I was enjoying reading it, and then it seemed to end kind of fast.

Also, I didn't quite see the connection between the scripture at the end and the story itself. Maybe it's just me though. Thanks for sharing!
Patrick Whalen02/25/08
I enjoyed this story. Its already been commented on, but I agree with two points:

1) You could have spent just a little more time to expand the word count in order to bring aditional depth to the tale.

2) Your pParagraphs need to be somewhat better defined.

Overall good piece though.
Jacquelyn Horne02/26/08
This is a good example of how, even children, stake out their territories. I don't see the topic here, but the lesson was well received.
Cori Mann02/27/08
I enjoyed reading your story. You created a good story line here.
If you could space your paragraphs into smaller ones it would make an easier read.
I did the same thing at first and thankfully someone on faithwriters pointed it out to me as well.
Now I have learned something that has improved my writing presentation.
Hope this suggestion helps.
Otherwise great story.
Keep writing you have alot of potential!