The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 529 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
02/21/08
Really cute character study--I loved your first several sentences describing Rodney.

I can't find a connection to the proverb for this week, but I enjoyed reading this charming entry.
02/22/08
Good descriptions! Good title!
I like the "triple dog dares".
It would help the reader to put an extra space in between your paragraphs.
I love the brother/sister interaction. I wanted more. Next time, use more of your 750 word count. I know you have more in you.
Keep writing.
Nice job capturing a view of family relationships. :)
I enjoyed this brother and sister story. I just wish you had used more of your word count and expanded on it. I was enjoying reading it, and then it seemed to end kind of fast.

Also, I didn't quite see the connection between the scripture at the end and the story itself. Maybe it's just me though. Thanks for sharing!
I enjoyed this story. Its already been commented on, but I agree with two points:

1) You could have spent just a little more time to expand the word count in order to bring aditional depth to the tale.

2) Your pParagraphs need to be somewhat better defined.

Overall good piece though.
This is a good example of how, even children, stake out their territories. I don't see the topic here, but the lesson was well received.
02/27/08
I enjoyed reading your story. You created a good story line here.
If you could space your paragraphs into smaller ones it would make an easier read.
I did the same thing at first and thankfully someone on faithwriters pointed it out to me as well.
Now I have learned something that has improved my writing presentation.
Hope this suggestion helps.
Otherwise great story.
Keep writing you have alot of potential!