The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/21/08
Great choice of Bible story for this week's topic!

I had a hard time with the rhyme scheme and meter of this poem--just when I thought it was established, it changed, making the read a bit jumpy for me.

This is one of my favorite stories, and it was fun to read it in poetic form.
02/21/08
(smile) I almost chose this story, too.
I could see that you were attempting to make a rhyming pattern, but it wasn't consistent. You were on the right track, and with a little more effort I think it could have flowed better.
Good job!
Unique style. Good job. :)
02/23/08
Good job. Work on the rhythm a little and this will be great!
A few meter problems. Nevertheless, a good story told in poetic form.
02/26/08
Wow, I enjoyed this toe-tapper. GREAT word choices and very creative for the topic. Nicely done.