The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/21/08
Ouch! You nailed the topic, that's for sure, and I like your title, too.

There's a lot of "telling" here, and not so much "showing". I'd recommend doing a Google search on "showing, not telling", and checking out some of the examples. You're a good writer, and ready to step it up a bit.
02/21/08
right on topic!
Did you get the names mixed up at the end, or did I just understand it wrong?
well done
I was wondering the same thing about mixing up the characters in the last paragraph...Very good piece and definitely a real experience for many employees. :)
02/22/08
A good start. Perhaps consider adding some dialogue to this. Keep writing.
"Um, sir, the company that offered me the new job just sent me a text message. They regretfully closed the position I applied for. May I please have that resignation letter back?" :)

Good entry...I could feel her heart sink!
What a dilemma!
You switched the names on the last pargraph, don't forget to check your story before you submit it. But it was an obvious error and did not take away from the story itself.
02/23/08
Wonderful writing skills, and you nailed the topic. Well done!
03/04/08
I thought it fit the topic very well - but it was a little too predictable to me. I had guessed the conclusion before I reached the end. I really like how you added small details in though, like looking forward to the brownie.