The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/15/08
(smile) What a mess! I like how you related that one incident to all the little things in our lives that we need to get past.
We need to have 'duck feathers' and let things roll off.
Keep writing.
Nice description of the action. Would love to see more substance to your characters in future pieces. :)
02/18/08
The piece began well. Great descriptions of the kids. I think the second half was too long, though. Tighten that up and this will be a good devotional piece. Keep writing.
02/18/08
I can just see the scene in the kitchen! Great descriptions. The ending seemed to go off a little in direction. I agree with a little work, this could be a great piece!
02/18/08
You have a good cast of characters to involve the reader with! I would have liked to read this with the characters having more dialogue together to "show" your story a bit more. The idea you presented is a good one to remember.
What a great lesson here in remembering bad things of the past in order to see the good things of the present.

I would have liked to see more conversation with the kids when the Mom got back from the store.

A couple of typos, but all in all a great entry. Don't think you'll stay in Level 1 for too long.
02/19/08
Oh, my, this is a serious and funny story wrapped together. Between the mess in the kitchen and the husband's obliviousness, I was greatly entertained. Then came your message at the end. Wow.

Be sure to capitalize words such as 'Saviour.' I have a feeling you meant to, since you capitalized all the other titles referring to God.

This sums the topic for this week up perfectly:
The ability to weather life's up and downs with grace, understanding and peace. Daily little problems were now no longer major disasters but cute anecdotes to be shared with loved ones. I could only imagine with anxious anticipation what wonderful gifts God had planned for my fortieth birthday and beyond.
02/19/08
Lovely little object lesson, pleasantly presented.

This is just personal preference, but I think it's more effective to write the children so that their approximate ages can be inferred by the reader--sentences with ages in them aren't the most compelling reading, but describing children is. That little nitpick is the only thing I see here--a really nice entry.
02/19/08
I loved that last line, especially the "anxious anticipation." Well done.
Now that's the best birthday present of all!
I enjoyed this engaging personal reflection, seasoned with humor.
Thanks to God for the insight he provides. Thanks for sharing this bit of testimony. Keep writing.
02/20/08
Ooooh...I can see that kitchen scene so clearly in my head. Great job with the descriptions there. You made it real and easy to relate, I'm glad that the ending ended the way that it did. Nice work! ^_^
You did a very good job with this topic. The humorous descriptions, as well as the message, were great.
02/20/08
I had to laugh at this, "I told my carnivorous husband". Your real-life family story unfolds into a beautiful lesson. Well done.
02/20/08
Great lesson. I could see the scene unfolding.
02/20/08
This was sweet. As a tip for next time--"I want to plant the broccoli" would have been a marvellous opening line, because it would hook the reader's interest. You want to start with something that makes them feel like they have to read more. Nice job.:)