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I want to fall in love, and yet I really have no experience with romantic relationships. I have always been the shy computer geek. I never dated in high school or college. I was very self-conscious, and the fear of rejection caused me to clam up and never ask a girl out. I wanted that to change. I wanted to finally meet a special girl who shared my faith in God. I was going to use a geek’s best friend to do it; I was going to use a computer.
The idea of forming a relationship with someone in cyberspace seemed ridiculous to me. However, at age 24, I was getting desperate. I had no success meeting girls locally, so I plunked down some cash to try out a popular dating site. This site used a lengthy questionnaire to match people based on their unique inner qualities and interests. In my mind, this was the perfect way to break the ice and meet a Christian lady.
I answered the questions, and I put up my newest photos. Soon after, several matches poured in. I got very few local matches, and so I decided to expand my search to the surrounding states. Soon after, I began talking to a girl from Kansas.
She seemed nice enough. She was attending Bible College. She liked classic literature, chocolate, writing, and foreign culture. She wasn’t exactly my type in the looks department, though far from unattractive. I was just happy that she showed interest in me. We talked for three months via e-mail and phone. Then it came time to meet her…
We agreed to meet halfway here in Colorado. I anxiously drove 150 miles. We met at a local pizza parlor. Her mom and brother came with her. That seemed a bit strange, but I couldn’t blame her for not coming alone. After all, a girl should be careful when meeting a stranger online.
I sat and had a three-hour conversation with her. Well actually, I had a conversation with her mother outlining all the rules for dating her 21-year-old daughter. One of the rules was that I couldn’t be alone with her until I married her………Great! I was the victim of an arranged marriage attempt. I headed back home and regrouped.
I was discouraged, but I couldn’t give up. I decided to dig deep and pay for three more months of the service. I expanded my search a bit farther. I got matched with a girl from Missouri. She was an elementary school teacher who had recently graduated from a Christian college. She had a cute voice and a fun and bubbly personality. She loved C.S. Lewis books, The Lord of the Rings, and she was supposedly in to “chubby” guys. She even had the physical appearance that I liked! This was a match made in digital Heaven! I flew out to meet her for four days. For the first time I got to go on dates and hold hands with a girl. It seemed wonderful.
To make a really long story extra short, I found out that this girl had a list of requirements for me to follow if I was going to be with her. I needed to get a tan, lose weight, get my eyebrows waxed, get a toupee, get new glasses, and the list goes on and on….. So much for liking a person for who they are on the inside!
I really felt crushed this time, but I was willing to make one last attempt. It was either going to be third time’s a charm or three strikes your out. I met a girl from Washington at the happiest place on Earth – Disneyland. Too bad I had to do all the talking during our three-day visit together. She seemed to handle e-mail and phone conversations very well, so I assumed in-person communication would be the same. I could hear the umpire yelling “Yeeeer out!”……At least Space Mountain was fun!
A year and a half later, I am still alone and single. I quit trying online matchmaking. I don’t regret my failed relationship attempts though. Even though it hurt, I cannot change what happened. In fact, I believe that God was trying to teach me something about his timing. When he is ready, he will put me with the right woman. Until then, I need to continue to hold on to the best relationship I have ever had - my relationship with Jesus Christ.
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