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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "It's No Use Crying over Spilt Milk" (without using the actual phrase or literal exampl (02/07/08)

TITLE: Undone
By Kay Ramos
02/10/08


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Undone



“The kids are finally down for their naps” Melissa thought to herself. “Peace and quiet at last!” But what to do with all of this much-anticipated free time? “I guess I can start straightening the place up now.” She decided.

She began to pick up all of the scattered toys on the floor and put them in their respective places. She put all the bears, rattles, teething rings, and soft baby books into the white toy basket and then put the basket on top of the coffee table, only momentarily. She just wanted the basket off of the floor so she could run the vacuum.

Melissa got out her vacuum cleaner and went to work. She was careful to pick up all dirt, seen and unseen, in every crevice and corner. Having been satisfied with the job she had done, Melissa decided to move on to the next task. She put the toy basket back down on the floor, put the vacuum away, and headed for the kitchen.

She took out chicken that she had thawing earlier and seasoned it as she hummed her favorite gospel hymns. As she washed her hands, her eyes surveyed the area, checking for anything dirty or out of place. She put the pan of seasoned chicken into the oven, washed the few dishes that were loitering in her sink like teenagers at the mall, then moved on to the bathroom.

After thoroughly scouring out the bathtub, toilet, and sink, she reviewed the checklist in her mind. Fresh towels, she remembered. Melissa took out two fresh towels from the linen closet and hung them neatly on a golden metal bar. She beamed with pride at the glistening bathroom and then proceeded to do a final inspection of the house.

The kids still slept soundly as Melissa walked from place to place making sure their home was in order. She was content, but decided to add a couple of finishing touches. She lit a vanilla scented candle in her gold-trimmed candle holder with the Jesus fish on the side and played soft familiar Christian tunes in the background. The ambiance was calm and Melissa wound down, laid her head on the arm of the couch and closed her eyes…

Just then, her rambunctious twin boys burst out of their bedroom like escapees fleeing the confines of prison. They entered the room, where Melissa hoped to relax, like a whirlwind and immediately grabbed a hold of the toy basket, emptying out the contents thereof. Just as quickly, they popped in their favorite DVD and began cheerily belting out their favorite show’s infectious theme song.

Melissa took a deep breath. She reflected on all of the hard work that she’d done while the boys slept. All the hard work that was undone in a moments’ time. She looked up to the ceiling, then forced a smile, and chimed in with the kids as they sang.


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This article has been read 331 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Nancy Quinn02/16/08
All moms have been there - great descriptives in the story! Cute story - keep up the good writing! :)
Laury Hubrich 02/16/08
Oh, good job. Nice writing. I could feel the sweet quietness of the house as she finally got to sit and relax. I could then feel the craziness of it when the boys woke up! Good job. Keep on writing!
Laury
Marlene Austin02/19/08
Realistic story and details. Good job. :)
Joanne Sher 02/22/08
Congratulations, Kay, on placing 15th in your level with this piece. Great work!