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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "It's No Use Crying over Spilt Milk" (without using the actual phrase or literal exampl (02/07/08)

TITLE: My Dream
By W. Yvonne Birnell
02/09/08


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As an author, Iíve been spoiled
My friends said I was good
My dream of being famous
Grew bigger with each word

Poems, I do sit and write
Like water, my words flow
My dream kept getting bigger
Fame, set my mind aglow

A contest I did enter
I knew that I would win
Waiting was the hardest part
My patience did wear thin

Finally the day did come
A letter in the mail
Eagerly I opened it
Then I began to wail

I did not win the contest
My poem they abhor
My tears fell like rain, that day
My dream, lay on the floor

I showed it to my husband
He said, Donít cry my dear
Find out what they didnít like
Then, you can go, from there

Went through that letter daily
Went over that critique
My tears, I found were wasted
Their truth, made me unique


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This article has been read 498 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Laury Hubrich 02/15/08
This is a very good poem, a very good example of not crying over spilt milk:) Keep up the great work!
Laury
Yvonne Blake 02/18/08
A poem! I've learned that I DON'T like when friends say my writing is great. I want to know where I can improve.
Good writing. Keep it up
Benjamin Graber02/18/08
I know the struggle, and I had to go throw a phase of dying to my dreams. It's still something I've got to work on.

I'd suggest that you add some punctuation, it makes a poem easier to read. Also, you might want to rephrase some of your lines; some of them sound unnatural, such as "Poems, I do sit and write".

Keep up the good work. Please feel free to contact me if you'd like any advice or suggestions...

Blessings,
Ben
Joshua Janoski02/19/08
A very good summary of the struggle that writer's face. I like getting critiqued, because there are always so many mistakes that I overlook. You can't fix something if you don't see the problem. Keep up the great writing! :)
Marlene Austin02/19/08
Very nice. Poetry isn't easy, yet yours flowed to reveal a complete story. Good job. :)