The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/07/08
You kept my interest up in this story! Good job! Make sure you get someone to proofread your work, it's so hard for us to find our own mistakes. Keep on writing! Laury
02/10/08
Good job! Very on-topic! It's just a suggestion, but you might want to write in past tense when you're writing from 3rd person POV - it seems to make the reading easier. There were some grammar and punctuation mistakes, but getting a buddy to help you proof would help that. Keep writing!
02/11/08
You show great potential here. Good dialog that kept the story flowing. Keep at it!
Different slant to this topic. Nice job. :)
02/13/08
Really creative idea for this topic--I don't believe I've read anything like it this week.

Some of your dialog sounded not quite realistic--a bit more stilted and formal than the way people actually speak. And I agree with Hanne--for a story like this, past tense would probably work better.

I love the compassionate attitude of your main character, and his enthusiasm for helping out.
Great job tying your idea to the topic, I think Tom will go far.
Creative, out of the box entry. Well told and nicely done.
02/13/08
A few typos here and there, but otherwise a pretty engaging story! I'm glad that Mr. Flint was able to 'straighten out' things, this was an interesting storyline and I was glad to follow it along and see what happened next! Great job! ^_^
02/13/08
As others have mentioned a buddy would help you to find those pesky little errors so hard to see in our own work. This was a nice take on this subject. I look forward to reading more of your stories.
Nice story! Good job being on topic. I agree that past tense would work better for this story. Keep up the good work.
02/13/08
Creative and right on topic!
You had a very creative idea for this week's topic. I agree with other comments. The story line is excellent, and fixing a few problem areas would make it shine. You know, getting the idea and carrying it through is the hardest part. You did this excellently.