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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "A Man is Known by the Company He Keeps" (without using the actual phrase). (01/31/08)

TITLE: The Promise
By Cassandra Carter
02/05/08


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The young man stretches his body as a young lion arching his back awakening from a short nap. He sees the silhouette of the rising sun bursting through his window to meet his brown hazel eyes. His hands pull through his thick brown wavy hair removing it off his forehead. After a long night, he lies on his back being reminded of a promise he must fulfill. Slowly, he rise as his feet touches the ole soft pale blue rug near his bed. He looks at the design interwoven in curvy and circular motions, reminding him about the roads of life he has taken. No longer hesitating, Josiah jumps into the shower with warm water running down his face and thoughts racing in his mind. He had prepared his heart and it felt good in his soul. This was a day he was looking forward to. His decision was final there was no turning back. He decided to wear his best attire for this occasion. The last time he wore this fitted black tailored suit was at his motherís funeral. It was a day he readily wanted to forget. She had been so loving, kind, tender-hearted, and definitely a God-fearing woman. After much prayer, discipline, and time he was ready. Choking back the tears of her memory, he grabbed his keys and headed toward the door. As he drove up the long whining driveway, the old building looked the same. The angelic window panes looked timeless, the structure of the old Victorian Church stood as a mighty oak tree. The tall brass steeple signified his affirmation of faith. Exiting the car, he slowly walked up the long flight of steps. When reaching the top he looked back, lifeís journey had dealt him better than he deserved. Today would be the day he said YES! As he pulled the door open, he saw the red carpet leading to the holy altar. It was a place of forgiven sin and a blood-stained cross. Headed toward the altar, Pastor Hope was there waiting to embrace him. Today Josiah would surrender to the loving God his mother told him about.

{Where you want to be is ultimately your choice}


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Member Comments
Member Date
Marlene Austin02/09/08
Some very nice writing here, but paragraphing would have helped the reader. You had quite a bit more writing room, try building more empathy for your character by giving some scenes to develop the depth of the love this son has for his mother.
Laury Hubrich 02/09/08
Very good descriptions in this story. As said above, break your writing down into paragraphs. Also, ask someone to proofread your entries before you submit. Errors take away from the point you are trying to make. Keep on writing!
Laury