Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "A Man is Known by the Company He Keeps" (without using the actual phrase). (01/31/08)
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TITLE: Fooling Around | Previous Challenge Entry
By Alfreda Byars
02/05/08 -
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Danny was a young man who walked the streets, he didn't dress very well or seem to have a place of his own and he very seldom had money, but these things didn't seem to matter to him, he got along just fine.
What mattered to Danny most was people. He would go out of his way to help someone, and because of that he was well liked and trusted by most of the people in the neighborhood.
There was a group of young boys that seem to run together like a pack of wild dogs. Santini, Big Worm and Joey, were all about causing trouble throughout the neighborhood. Santini and his boys often made fun of Danny and picked at him.
Mr. Brimmerick is an elderly gentleman who owns a delicatessen store on Main and 5th and he would allow Danny to eat free in exchange for helping him clean the store at closing time.
On April 5th at 9:00 p.m., Danny and Mr. Brimmerick were cleaning the store. 9:00 p.m. in this small rural town called Beaumont down in Texas seemed as if it were midnight. Most stores and shops were already closed and the streets were deserted.
In walked Santini, Big Worm and Joey, Mr. Brimmerick spoke to them to get out, "the store is closed, he said", and it was then Joey and Big Worm pulled out a gun and demanded that Mr. Brimmerick give them money.
Danny was wiping off the countertops and Mr. Brimmerick was sweeping the floor, he swung his broom in the air demanding the boys leave the store at once and Joey got angry and pointed his gun at Mr. Brimmerick. Danny ran towards Mr.Brimmerick to try and stop him for fear that they may shoot him and the gun went off, shooting Danny in the back.
Joey and Big Worm both ran off. Danny fell to the floor and Santini kneeled down beside him, crying saying man I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen.
Mr. Brimmerick called for an ambulance and the police.
Santini continued to tell Danny how sorry he was and that they really didn't mean anything: they were just fooling around. "I didn't know Joey and Big Worm were packing", he exclaimed, referring to the guns.
Danny died before the ambulance could get there. Santini never left his side. Finally the ambulance and the police arrived and Santini was cuffed and taken away to jail.
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You wrote about bad company, but not really about the meat of the proverb, which is being judged by your companions. Watch out for run-on sentences!
I'd love to see this little story expanded, and to get to know these characters a little better. Keep writing!