The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/08/08
Oh boy, I love allegories and this one, Author, is a mighty fine! Great, great job! The only little tiny thing I wondered about was how the salesman could see himself in a screendoor:) Not a big deal but something you might want to fix if you use this someplace else, which you should, by the way! I love your "exclusive Hades living community" Did I mention I really liked this:)
Laury
02/08/08
I like the flow of this story. It grabbed and held my attention. A great piece of writing -- move on up!
02/09/08
Good writing - I love how he "slithered" into the doorway! I don't think all salesmen are of the devil, but I definitely think they slither! LOL This reminds me of the dramas my former church used to put on. Love the characters. I don't know how on topic this is, but it's still great! Keep writing!
Grat job of making me feel that I've been slimed. Great character. Wish Mr. Heart had refused. Also not sure on the topic, but good stuff here, none the less. Keep writing.
02/13/08
Brilliant! Definitely my favorite so far. Great writing and I can see the topic in there.
Oh my, how did I miss this one first time reading through Level 1?
I just loved "The suave salesman slithered through the door" it set the whole scene. ~sigh~ I was hoping his brother would pay him a visit. Well done Josh, the Father's gift of words is evident.
02/15/08
This is smart writing! I especially loved the description with the hair, etc...in the beginning. Great work!