The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Very good point about learning to enrich yourself. If you look for companions you admire you can learn from them. And if they are really worth their salt, they will welcome and help you grow.
02/07/08
You have great thoughts in this short piece. Next time, try to expand on a thought and give some personal examples to add more interest. You have lots more words you can use, use 'em up! Also, please have someone look over your work to check for typos or grammar errors. Thank you for sharing!
Laury
02/09/08
Your thoughts are good, but there's not much structure to your paragraph. You need to be more alert to grammar, spelling, and punctuation. I would have liked to have seen you expand this with more action or dialogue - don't tell me about Jenny, show me through actions and words what she does. You have good thoughts, and I encourage you to keep writing.