The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
01/31/08
Oh, how sad! I hope there's a "rest of the story" when he gets his family back!
Great commentary on modern motivations. Loved the last lines - such truth! :)
02/02/08
Very good lesson here. Good, good writing! Keep up the great work!
Laury
02/05/08
You made the list for the Beginner Blessings this week! Congratulations! Here is the link: http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=17610
I enjoyed your imagery a lot, good writing! ~
I really liked the last line.

Too often we seek out our own desires instead of Gods and then wonder why everything seems to fall apart.

Good lesson taught here.
02/08/08
This is my favorite so far. You did a good job of setting the scene, and the thunderous conversation was incredibly effective for me. Great story; I look forward to more from you.