The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/01/08
A cautionary tale for teens to heed!

I noticed several spelling errors (addictive/additive and Lori/Lore among them), and the solution seemed to come much more easily than in real life.

I see this as a discussion-starter for jr. high or high school church groups.
02/02/08
Good story. I can't imagine any teen admitting to her drug use so easily, though. Maybe you should have had some drama in there, make it more life-like! Keep on writing!
Laury
02/05/08
This is a little hard to follow, I think it moved too fast with too much front story, if you'd added a bit of dialouge and showed a little more than 'told' it would definitely add some to this piece! The idea is great though and I really liked how you showed valid reasons for why she actually tried it. Nice job. ^_^
Written well for young people. It really helps the reader if there is an extra space between paragraphs. :)