The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
02/01/08
I love your 4th paragraph--quite powerful!

I was confused by the introduction of a character (the bishop) who was never mentioned again, and this may be a bit too literal of an interpretation of the proverb.

You writing is lovely, and you have a unique voice.
02/01/08
I see you are a good writer. For future reference, it is very important to follow the writing guidelines, whether for challenges or for other contests you might enter. Deb had asked us not to use the phrase in our entries. Don't have your great writing disqualified for something you could easily correct! This is a very good devotional!
Laury
02/05/08
Hmmm! You did very well here, usually I have a hard time reading pieces like this, but you kept me interested. I especially like the line with the lone ranger, that was a picture I could see in my head and it did make me laugh out loud! ^_^ Great job! ^_^
02/05/08
This line defines the essence of your article: "the gold of Scripture was enough to feed me forever,"

I love how you just flow right into "..lest we become cuckoo and ride off like the Lone Ranger, into the sunset and off a cliff." Caught me off guard, and was a nice way to lighten the mood without taking away from the serious tone.

I thought the last two paragraphs felt "tacked on", and think you could end right here: "..one must sell all one’s gold for."

Your writing engaged me, and kept me engaged. Very nice job! :) Cat
Unique aspect of the "gold" being found. Nice job. Not sure I agree with the feeling of teaching oneself being the best way. After all, that's why I'm here, at Faith Writers, to get the influence of others whom I trust. :)