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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “All that Glitters is Not Gold” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/24/08)

TITLE: The winning number
By marcia morris
01/25/08


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They all spoke about winning the lottery at work.
Each morning they stretched and yawn before they begin their daily routine.
They would give anything to be a stay at home mom, to sit at home and watch soaps.
To have all that they want in life, a nice car, beautiful home, nice clothes
and a long vacation in the Island.

Peggy sat daily and day dream out loud of the things she which she was doing right now.
Lying on the beach eating mangoes and plums, watching water waves over the sand.
She spoke about the patients and how rough the job as become getting kicked and bruised daily.
A job that was once prestige is now like a house maid or a cleaning woman.
She was changing diapers, mopping floors, changing beds and running behind patients
Who tries to escape from what seems to be confinement. The loud noise, the constant
Screams makes it seem like she was in a mental hospital. All her young life she dreamed
To work with the sick, giving medication and dressing wounds, but some how life never went her way
She got married too young and had to settle for nurses aide.
After graduating from the health care course her first job was in the nursing home.
She dearly loved the elderly and knew that taking care of them was her duty.
She knew that some day she too will be an elderly person, and she will need a caregiver.
This job was very important to her, to do her all, and her very best.
Growing up with her grand parents close by, they felt like a second parent to her.
She thought she knew every thing there was about the elderly until she found out she was wrong!
All elderly are not the same, some are blessed with a sound mind, while others are not the same due to disease that takes over the mind. Alzheimer is one of them.
Alzheimer is a disease that destroys the mind turning adults into a child.
Though she loved them so much, at times it becomes so hard on her.
For each morning she leaves her children at home only to walk into another play ground.

One evening after work Peggy fell asleep on her living room floor. “Peggy” she heard a voice called out.
“do you want to win the lottery?” oh yes she replied.
She then saw this face appeared before her, smiling showing his pearly white teeth.
From behind him he produced two beautiful silver birds and placed them on the ground before her.
“Touch them” he said, “ touch them and I will reveal the numbers to you, all seven of them”
Peggy looked at the birds, they were so beautiful, their silver shined like crystals.
As she raised her head to view them closer, they flew before her face, flying still in one place.
“Touch them I say, touch them and I will reveal tonight’s winning numbers, all seven of them”
Peggy looked at the birds again, then she looked at the man standing with his arms fold.
His smile was full of assurance, a win that he guarantee
“come on touch them, get the numbers then go out and buy them, for surely tonight you will be a winner.”

Just as Peggy was about to stretch her hand forward towards the birds, she remembered something.
She had a sick brother who was gravely ill and a dear ole sister who constantly lived in pain.
Months she had spent praying for them, hoping that God will hear her prayer.
Winning the lottery meant that she would be rich, not having to work anymore.
But if she touched those silver birds she would be selling her soul to the devil.
Once she sold out God will no longer be with her.
Best to be rich with good health than to be financially rich and lose her soul.
She turned to the man who stood waiting. “No, sir!” I will not touch those birds.

The man disappeared and so did the birds. She woke up to a voice that gentle spoke in her ear
“ I will show you how to make money, but you will have to work for it, stick with me and I’ll show you!”
Peggy knew that this voice was from God. She smiled.


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Member Comments
Member Date
Laury Hubrich 02/01/08
Very good story. I like your dream sequence. Make sure you have someone proofread your work. It's so hard to see your own mistakes. Keep up the writing!
Laury
Michelle Roufley02/01/08
Very good at showing where our values should be. Remember to always stay in the present or past tense. I have a hard time with this too.
Jan Ackerson 02/02/08
The images in the dream sequence were very compelling!

There is some work to be done here on grammar, verb tenses, and sentence structure--maybe find a writing buddy who will work with you on problem areas?

Keep writing--this is a great place to learn.
marcia morris02/18/08
Thank you all for your comments. I do have a problem with all that you have mentioned. It takes me sometimes weeks to write a perfect article because I have to go back and correct my mistakes. I do have an editor that edits my work, but I wanted to post on this article before time was up. This story is a true story. I do hope that some one can learn from this write even though there are several problems in it's structure. Thanks again for all your comments. God bless!