The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Very good story. I like your dream sequence. Make sure you have someone proofread your work. It's so hard to see your own mistakes. Keep up the writing!
Very good at showing where our values should be. Remember to always stay in the present or past tense. I have a hard time with this too.
The images in the dream sequence were very compelling!

There is some work to be done here on grammar, verb tenses, and sentence structure--maybe find a writing buddy who will work with you on problem areas?

Keep writing--this is a great place to learn.
Thank you all for your comments. I do have a problem with all that you have mentioned. It takes me sometimes weeks to write a perfect article because I have to go back and correct my mistakes. I do have an editor that edits my work, but I wanted to post on this article before time was up. This story is a true story. I do hope that some one can learn from this write even though there are several problems in it's structure. Thanks again for all your comments. God bless!