The Official Writing Challenge
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Fun story and well written. The conversation between the characters great (and the thoughts of the MC). Final line? Delightful!
01/24/08
A lovely piece of writing. I love your MC's husband--he's a keeper, and you portrayed the difficulty of dealing with unhealed hurts and offences from the past (that get triggered by the innocent present) very well.
01/24/08
This is Great. I absolutely love the last line! Two hundred chicks would be adorable, we've done that before (!) but.... LoL. :-)
01/25/08
This is very, very cute and well-written! I liked the accurate portrayal of her fluctuating thoughts...I'm sure all of us girls do that sometimes ;)
01/26/08
Oh...the joys of country life! This is a sweet story. Good job with the dialogue.
Keep writing.
01/27/08
Delightful story! No major red ink from me. I love the MC's thoughts, and especially her interjections into her own thoughts. I thoroughly enjoyed this, especially the last line.
01/28/08
Very enjoyable story! Love the characters and the MC's big ambitions! The last kine is such a good close for your story, too.
Very good job.

I just love the interaction between husband and wife. Very authentic. This was adorable:
Maybe it was just my imagination, but didn’t his eyebrow lift in that quirky way of saying he thought I was out of my mind? “Isn’t it buried in that pile of papers on your desk?” Then he had the nerve to turn back to his book (umm… Bible actually) and ignore my rising panic.

I loved the MCs voice and funny thoughts. The dry humor was fun. Keep up the good work.


01/28/08
I really like this family. You put me inside this scene very well.
Teeny tiny mis-spelling: It's "poring" over it instead of "pouring" over it in the first paragraph. Tricky one...This paragraph touched my heart:
Beth, her bubbly nature effervescing once again, bounced away to collect my lists. Daddy was her hero after all. I stepped (stomped) past him to follow Beth, but he pulled me down onto his lap.
01/28/08
Great job! Very enjoyable!
01/30/08
ROFL! Too, too funny! I liked the last line with the two hundred chicks. Whoops! You made your MC very believable and easy to realte to, I was with her and waiting and the ending, of course, made me laugh out loud. Good writing!