The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/17/08
There was a nice twist in the last line. How diffrent are we? That had a solid punch to it.

I found some of the slang a bit hard to follow. That can be a danger of speaking in the character's own voice. The voice worked well overall.
01/20/08
Interesting dialect.
I understand the feeling. I moved a lot as a child. It was hard.
Good job...keep writing.