The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/20/08
Ohhhhhhh! Poor Bambi!
I got a little distracted by all the road names and numbers.
Good job... keep writing
01/22/08
The only thing that really struck me (and if this is a true story, then all I can say is that deer came from the bottom of the gene pool) is that a wild deer wouldn't be laying in the middle of the road. Standing, caught in the headlights maybe, but not laying down. I've never seen one do that. Again, anything can happen, but if your reader doesn't believe in something you wrote, then you've lost your audience. Sometimes you have to fudge on real life to make it more engaging and something the reader can relate to. I wouldn't mention road names so much, once is enough. Your use of description and humor did well, and I encourage you to keep writing!
01/24/08
I live in a rural area and have some unusal animal stories of my own. A great story kept my interest all the way through. You kept the spacing good and it was easy to read. Keep up the good writing.