The Official Writing Challenge
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01/21/08
This is a precious story, and I love the end with the child praying. I believe I saw one or two tense changes in the story-telling, but it didn't distract much. I like your title, too. Great message for us stressed out moms!
01/21/08
How tender!
I loved this part:
"No Jesus did"
Probably the explanations in between weren't really needed. The action and prayers were great by themselves.
Keep it up.
01/21/08
In spite of a few POV shifts and small errors, this is right on topic and certainly ministers to Moms!
01/22/08
I love the thought behind this...yes, it's overwhelming to be a mom, and a lot of times we think we're horrible at it. But God gave us the gift of these children, and we should enjoy every precious moment with them. I have felt exactly like this character. There were a few punctuation errors, and I didn't really like the POV shift to the little boy - it slowed the pace of the story, especially when you jumped back to the mother's POV in the middle of that scene. However, I loved the ending. Keep up the good work!
01/22/08
I love this story. And my favorite part is...

Keigan sneaks into the kitchen and his little toddler mind starts working. "I get cookie. I can climb on this chair,... get up on here.... and if I put this foot here and my hand here...."

Great job at expressing what little ones think.

The POV shifs worked for me. It read like a tiny novel. Great message so many Mom's need to hear when they are feeling down. Keep writing for HIM!

I so appreciate this story, both having had the privilege of being home with my kids, and having had one really bad case of mom burn-out.
I wish more mothers would see the value in being home with their children, as we can pay people to watch them, but not to love them.
01/23/08
Beautiful story! What a great title for this too. You've captured every Mom's feelings of being overwhelmed and inadequate. The little boy's sentence, "Jesus did" is so perfect. Thanks for this!