Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two in the Bush” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/10/08)
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TITLE: The Visit | Previous Challenge Entry
By Cheryl Martin
01/13/08 -
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“What am I doing here?” I asked myself. “My daughter doesn’t belong in a place like this. How can I go in?” That barbed wire rolled on top of the fence was so intimidating. “Can I really go through those doors?” I wondered. Somewhere in my mind I remembered the little girl she used to be. What had brought her here? Oh I knew what the authorities had said, but really, how had this happened?
I found the courage to open the door and then endured all the entry procedures. My belongings were put into a locker, and I found a seat. My thoughts began to roam. I had thought our home would be a “Christian” home, but I had some pretty unrealistic ideas about what that meant. My own childhood home had not been Christian, but Mom loved us and provided all we ever needed. She made sure my sister and I were in church every Sunday, too. I accepted Jesus as my Savior when I was eleven, and then ten years later I married my high school sweetheart. We were both Christians, so I thought we would have a Christian home. My definition seemed to include perfect children and very few problems.
My mind continued to wander as I waited for my daughter to be brought to the visitation area. When she was growing up why had she lied to us so much? Why had she stolen things? We even went to counseling back then, but it hadn’t really given us any answers. So many times I wondered what I had done wrong. Did I wish she had not been born? Never! I loved her in spite of the pain and the disappointment. We would survive this, though I wasn’t sure about the next few hours. The door opened, and time seemed to stop.
“Mom,” she said, tears running down her face, “I’m so sorry.” We held each other for a long time. The love we shared was confirmed. We didn’t understand what was next, but I knew God would restore my daughter to me and would help her get free of the chains she had allowed to entangle her. This was my daughter—I didn’t want any other.
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You described the setting and the thoughts well. I would have enjoyed a little more description of brought them to this point.
Good job...keep writing.