The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/19/08
Your title is great - and you do a great job with interior monologue. Love the last line too. Keep writing!

Putting a space between paragraphs makes reading a bit easier on the eyes. If you need help, feel free to PM me.
Very insightful as to how we woment think about our appearances, and how much it matters that we need to focus more on what's inside. Great message, and great writing.
01/21/08
I like the way your MC built up the reader's anticipation. Great story.
01/21/08
You have made an excellent point. A little white space between paragraphs and dialogue would polish it for publication, but other than a couple of small tweaks, this is very nice. :0)
Nicely delivered message. The last line is wonderful. Good work!
01/22/08
My mother always said, "Pretty is as pretty does" when I tended to get too vain.
I liked how you let her mind drift off. Don't we all do that?
Good writing. Keep it up.