The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/10/08
Very good message, and right on topic.

A poem with such short lines really needs to have a consistent meter; otherwise, the reader "stumbles" a bit as we read, when the meter breaks.

Your poetic skills are fine; just a bit of polish here and there.
01/13/08
Great message - and I love the first/last stanza especially.
01/15/08
A Poem!
I like the way you repeated the first stanza again at the end.
The rhythm is a little off in places.
Good job...keep writing.