The Official Writing Challenge
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01/10/08
Great last line, and super job with the mood of this story.

There are some problems with capitalization, particularly of dialog. Just a few minor edits needed, though--this is a good piece.
01/10/08
This is a great emotional piece. In good writing, grammatical errors are jarring - such as missing capital letters at the beginning of sentences. You have the skills to be in level 2 or even level 3, so be careful on the editing. Some of the scene transitions are abrupt, particularly the gravesite to school setting flashback.
Very good storytelling.
01/10/08
Great writing skills here. As mentioned, watch your capitalization & punctuation, and a large space, or a few dashes, between scene changes would make the reading smoother. This would be a really good story for teens. I'd say I enjoyed it, but it made me sad! :) So I'll just say it's very good. Love the ending.
01/15/08
So Sad!
Good use of dialogue. I got a little confused with the many names of friends.
Good job...keep writing.
Excellent job, this is a very moving story...