The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/10/08
Very good analogy, and right on topic.
Excellently written and such truth in the reminders.
01/12/08
Very well constructed! I like how smoothly you compared car-problem symptoms to marriage-problem symptoms.
Good job...keep writing.
How true and you did a good job of writing. thank you.
Evelyn Rodgers, Mb canada
01/15/08
Excellent work. I had to double check the level.

You could leave off the first sentence entirely. It repeats the topic, which isn't encouraged, and you move on to show us anyway so it's unnecessary.

""I don't know what to do anymore," the hurting spouse finally tells their friend as they consider divorce as a viable option. In the previous paragraphs you avoided using a pronoun (he/she or the "they" substitute. The same could be done here with some simple rewording - "the hurting spouse tells a friend as divorce becomes a viable option." or something like that. :)

The car analogy is used skillfully. I like that it is consistently referred to throughout. Clear message, and perfectly on topic. Definitely not beginner level writing IMHO.
01/16/08
Very good analogy to the car and how we would never think of driving it into the ground once it showed signs of damage, yet we do it with our marriages. Your descriptions kept me reading and the comparisons were clear and useful. Right on topic.
01/16/08
Good strong word choices ... you have a great vocabulary and strong sentence structure! This bodes well! The "moral lesson" type format isn't my favorite (me being a dark fiction guy!)but you pull this off well! Look forward to seeing more of your work! :-)
01/17/08
This is an excellent Devotional! Just add scripture(s).