The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is very effective, and when I got to the line about "They never prayed, no, not even once" I gulped.

The only things that threw me a bit were the occastional switches from past to present tense, and the switch to 3rd person in the last line when all of the rest was in 1st person.

This is very strong writing, one of the best in this level.
Wow! This is poetical prose! The words and feelings are strong.
The last two lines seemed out of sync with the rest of entry.
Good job...Keep writing.
Good poetic prose, nice use of language for illustration. Watch the tense shifts. Good stuff, keep writing.