The Official Writing Challenge
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01/10/08
What a testimony to a mother's heart and prayer. I was a little confused at the progression of time, but then noticed the extra spaces--you certainly captured the turmoil we feel at times!
01/10/08
I enjoyed this poem. Not sure I see the theme of teh challenge in it, but I am certainly no expert! I did enjoy reading it ; )
I like it! however it lacks rythm, but is full of emotion and heartfelt expression. I'm no poet, learning just like you. go for it.
01/10/08
Sweet poem...probably not on topic, but lovely nevertheless, and should be encouraging for people going through difficulties with wayward children.
01/10/08
Oh what a wonderful poem. It flows so well, had great rythme and the message is wonderful.
So many realize late in their childs life that they need to have Christ in their lives more than just sending their kids to church with someone else.
The ending was very special and made me cry. I am so glad the child came to Christ in the end.
Italics would have made the seperate sections easier to understand, but the spaces still helped.
Keep writing for Him.
01/11/08
Wonderful...and right on topic!
What a good example of God's faithfulness!
I noticed that you needed to capitalize the first word in each line. Good use of words and punctuation.
Keep writing.
01/14/08
Wonderful contrasts between the mother who prays and disciplines and the mother who doesn't do either. It's interesting that both moms start out with the same love, but only one has the wisdom to know how to grow her child properly.
01/14/08
I love this, and think it hit the topic in a big way! God has blessed you with a marvelous talent!
AMEN! When we do our part, we can confidently leave them in God's hands...without regrets.
Maybe separate with asterisk. I didn't 'get it' until I read comments, even though I enjoyed the entry.
Right on topic...beautiful.
You have the ability to reach right into your readers' hearts! I loved reading your poem and look forward to reading more. In this one perhaps, a more distinct clue to the reader that the 'better mother' is another person would help with clarity. That's an easy fix. Thank you for this lovely entry!
I love rhyming poetry, and I think you did a very good job with this. The message is sure to touch any mother's heart. I stumbled a time or two on the rhythm, but all in all, this was really nice. Thumbs up.
01/14/08
This touched me in a very, VERY deep way. Just lovely and convicting and heartfelt.
01/14/08
Lovely, heartfelt and touching.
Beautifully done. This is a great illustration of the topic. :)
Lovely poem - I like the patterns that seem to echo young life.
I, too, had to go over it several times to figure out just how many mothers and children were included. I think that the first five stanzas were most like a lullaby.
Your "lullaby" illustrates well how important the first "stitch" is in the life of a child. Your first two stanzas were especially beautiful.
01/15/08
I love it! I agree the first letter of each line should be capitalized. Though it was beautiful! ;)
01/15/08
This is precious - heart breaking and heart warming both. 2 mothers with good intentions, one who followed through and one who didn't. You showed both sides of this topic. Love it.
Beautiful poem, and very sweet.

My only suggestion would be that you add some more imagery, which could make this poem even more beautiful and inspiring...
The poem is beautiful and so filled with emotion. I love the ending!
01/17/08
What a sweet Lullaby. Your title is perfect. You've captured a mothers concern for her child and written this very well. I love the verse "Train up a child..." and claim it often. Thanks for this beautiful poem.