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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “A Stitch in Time Saves Nine” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/03/08)

TITLE: If wishes were horses
By Millicent Njue
01/03/08


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The day dawned well, bright sunshine lighting up the village with warmth. It was a day that the nation at large hoped to make an important decision by casting their vote. Yes, the people would once again have that chance to make a choice of their leaders.

Jane felt happiness flood her as she trudged to the polling station that morning. Perhaps things could take a turn for the better if only the right leaders were put in place. She hoped that things could improve with a new Government in place. May be she could secure a job and be able to lead a normal life with her three children again.

Things had only gone worse for the widow who was now faced with no job after the company she had been working for closed down. She had had to move her family to the country home from the city and from then life had never been the same. It was hard enough for them to adjust to life in the village and living on no income. Jane hoped day after day that something would come to renew her hope again. But all seemed so vain….

The day progressed well and by evening the vote counting was well underway. What Jane and the rest of her country men did not know was that that would be the last peaceful day for her country for a long time. After announcement of the new President there was uproar from the opponents. They came out in large numbers to oppose the new president. They wielded crude weapons and all manner of stuff. In their wake they left looting, disaster and loss of lives. The once peaceful country was turned into a battlefield. Calls were made for reconciliation between the warring parties to no avail. Each side stood their ground and nothing could change that.

As Jane and her fellow country men watched their country deteriorate into chaos she couldn’t help but wonder if there was nothing that could have been done to avert the disaster. Perhaps if the leaders had listened and ironed out their differences….perhaps if the people had prayed more ….Just may be things would not have come this far. But then things had come too far this time.


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This article has been read 459 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Yvonne Blake 01/10/08
So sad! We in America just don't know the difficulties of other countries.
Good job on the setting in the first paragraph.
It would have helped to state specific ways the riots could have been avoided.
Keep writing.
James Dixon01/10/08
This was a very topical take on the subject. Thanks.
Jan Ackerson 01/11/08
This was quite intriguing--I'd definitely like to have read more, and you had more words to play with. Expand this one, for sure!

I think a piece this interesting deserves a more original title--try to avoid using cliches and make you titles original to your piece.
Beckie Stewart01/12/08
Found this interesting, but was left a bit confused at the end as to the reason chaos so immediately broke out.
Jacqueline Zerres01/14/08
I thought the story started well. You had me hooked with Jane's predicament and her hope for a brighter future. I also got the theme - if only steps were taken early, life may be better. It seems like there are two stories here - Jane's life and government issues. A suggestion: Perhaps the ending could use more impact. How did Jane overcome these problems?