The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
I love the personal vignette you began with and as well the upbeat slant of your devotional.

Your descriptions are stunning.

If you don't mind I will pick only one tiny nit? The 6th paragraph from the bottom threw my focus a bit, but then it could just be me.

In any case, this is excellent writing.

12/14/07
Wonderful! The opening story grabbed me, and the closing metaphor is glorious.
12/14/07
This is written very well. An intriguing story at the beginning, with an important message at the end. Good job with the topic.
12/15/07
Great description and a great lesson. You did very well!
I loved this piece...especially the sky. Well done.
12/16/07
Great opening story - fantastic ending - and I love how you finally came up with an answer to the doctor's question. This one is definitely a keeper! Keep on writing.
This is excellent writing with a clear definition of the body of Christ. I loved your description of the sky as an analogy for what followed.
12/18/07
Wow! I liked the picture of the sunset...good description.
It has a good conclusive ending.
12/18/07
Extremely creative, and I LOVE the analogy. Engaging.
12/18/07
Great writing. It would have been clearer if you had stuck to Tim's story--with 750 words it is hard to mix stories and have them flow well. With one you can do so much more and give it the full treatment it deserves.
12/18/07
Love this! The doctor's comment is quite funny in a way, and the ending analogy is really very beautiful.
12/19/07
Very interesting! I liked how the title tied in with a key question. Nice job. I liked the descriptions of the sunset too.

RED PEN: I think there's a POV slip up where Tim answers in 1st POV, as "I".
12/19/07
After reading several pieces on how the body of Christ has failed (and they all have their points) -it was truly refreshing to read this uplifting and beautifully written piece. Thank you.
I'm going to have to read all your stuff. This is great!
Temple, this is absolutely wonderful! I'm so glad I clicked on your name and then on this title after a month of being in and out a lot. I do so look forward to reading more of your work! Your prose is magnetic and poetic, a great combo in writing. The Lord's hand is on your pen and keyboard ;-) Write on!