The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 836 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
12/14/07
Very good story. I really enjoyed reading this. A great message, told in a very creative way. Really good job with the topic.
12/15/07
Great story and well written. I work in a college town as a cop and I see many kids just like Leah!

God bless
12/15/07
Very good! A great story, and good writing skills, too. I love the ending, and am glad Leah finally WANTS to go to church. Well done! :) Cat
12/16/07
This was good. I like how you slowly revealed details about Leah throughout the story.

"She decided to check the women’s restroom out first. You can tell a lot about a church by the way the women’s restroom is decorated." Oh - this made me laugh.
12/16/07
Good job!! Interesting story. You might want to try to include some dialogue to break it up abit and make it more show than tell, but other wise VERY good!!! :))
12/16/07
Oooh, good one! I liked this one a lot!

My only pickiness--in the first paragraph, your numerals should be written out as words.

Other than that, it's good to go! Share this with your teen leader.
12/18/07
Well done!
I liked her evaluation of herself in the mirror.
Perhaps you could have added a little interaction with the ladies at the church.
Good writing.
12/21/07
Congratulations, Marita, for placing 8th in your level. Great job!
12/27/07
I liked this a whole lot, but the editor in me sees a need to remain consistent in the capitalizations, use bold vs. caps, and improve some of the transitions between paragraphs. Okay, that was a lot of picky, but very small and easy fixes that will help this stand out more as a great piece of writing as well as a great piece of concept/thought.
12/07/08
This is a modern day prodigal son story. I love it. Very well written!