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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The Church (12/06/07)

TITLE: Old Country Church


The old building sat on a country lane without the ability to break out of its winter slumber despite the buds on the trees and the daffodils that ran rampant about the front steps. Not only did the paint crack and peel, but several boards had warped. It sagged sadly even as it fought to remain standing.

Rebecca tilted her head to the side, but the old building still appeared to list to one side. Only its steeple seemed to have any ability to stand on its own. Every step creaked as Derek stepped up to the door. She walked from the road edge to the bottom of the stairs as he beckoned her.

“I want to open the door with you at my side.”

Rebecca laughed. “I know, but will the step hold both of us?”

“Have a little faith.” He winked at her.

More creaking and they stood together before the weathered oak door. Rebecca held her breath as Derek unlocked it.

A groan of protest came from the rusty hinges as the heavy doors swung open revealing a simple church interior with wooden pews set in two rows. The stained glass windows on one side turned the room into a riot of rainbow colors as sunlight caressed the windows.

“It isn’t that bad.” Derek walked down the aisle causing dust to swirl about his feet. “It just needs a little loving.” He coughed.

“You sure they will come?” Rebecca carefully ran fingers through the dust on the back of a pew to reveal a finely varnished wood.

“Yes, if nothing else, curiosity will bring them as they see the church getting a little revival.”

“I know God will provide, but this stepping out with all that we have has me scared.” Rebecca hugged herself as she looked about.

“But it still feel’s right?”

Rebecca nodded and smiled as the riot of color returned with a brighter burst of sunlight.

Her eyes wandered over the room again as the colors broke the dreariness. The cross behind the simple lectern caught her breath. Ignoring the dust cloud she caused, she hurried to the front and pulled down the cobwebs marring the view. She ran fingers over finally carved wood depicting Christ on the Cross.

“I’m surprised such a work of art as this even remained.” She glanced over her shoulder at Derek. “It’s an antique worth thousands simply hidden by cobwebs in an old church.”

“I did not even look inside when I bought the place. I just knew it was right and look what we really have.” Derek spread his arms wide. “God could have only made it all stay together like this.”

“We’ll need to hold sermons during the day or use candles until it has electricity.” Rebecca laughed suddenly. “We can’t even run an extension cord from the parsonage. It doesn’t have electricity either. Can you believe this all remained out here this long just waiting for someone like us to revive it someday?”

“God definitely works in mysterious ways. He told me to plant a church. I just didn’t expect to have to revive an old one.”

“I might as well get cleaning. There may be other gems in this old place hiding in the years of dust here.” Rebecca wiped her dusty hands on her jeans as she walked back to the door.

Once back at the road, she turned to take another look at the little, country church. It still looked well weathered, but it stood prouder than before. Maybe the church knew people would soon grace its pews and fill it with love it had not felt for so long.

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This article has been read 995 times
Member Comments
Member Date
James Dixon12/14/07
This is a beautifully descriptive piece.
jodie banner12/15/07
Great descriptions.I could picture this little church perfectly.
LaNaye Perkins12/16/07
You show great talent in this very descriptive story. I felt like I was right there with your MC's. Well done, keep writing!
Jan Ackerson 12/16/07
Sounds like the fitst chapter of something bigger...

A few pronoun issues caused me to have to re-read some sentences for clarity--nothing a second edit wouldn't fix.

Sweet story.
Yvonne Blake 12/17/07
Beautiful! Good use of dialogue and descriptions.
Very good writing!
nicole wian12/17/07
Beautiful wording. I especially liked riot of rainbow colors (my favorite in the story) although I wouldn't have used riot a second time. But so many good descriptions!
Angela M. Baker-Bridge12/20/07
Congratulations on your vision and win!
Sheri Gordon12/20/07
Congratulations on your 3rd place. Good job with the topic.
Holly Westefeld12/20/07
Holly Westefeld12/20/07
The vivid imagery transported me in to your story. Congratulations.
TJ Nickel12/27/07
I enjoyed your story and thought you were very good with descriptions and content, but had some difficulty with the flow of the article. Very good and congrats on your 3rd place!
Lisa Kingsbury01/12/08
Wonderful Story. I could picture the little church perfectly!!! Congratulations. Great job!