The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Very contemplative and moody...I liked it.

You did some tense-switching (past to present and back), and be mindful of the defference between "quite" and "quiet".

I could easily visualize and even hear this scene--good descriptions.
I like the imagery of an empty cathedral. Good description of the building and the people rushing by.
I like the imagery of your second paragraph - how you tied the unfinished cathedral to the emptiness in their lives. Good message.
I like the comparison between the church (being cold and empty) with people's spiritual lives. Some of your comparisons are worded beautifully.

Most of the sentences run long and without appropriate punctuation. Try varying the sentence lengths (and a few well placed commas) to help with the flow.