The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/14/07
Good job with establishing the atmosphere of this sci-fi piece.

The problem with sci-fi and very short fiction is that either the reader has to infer too much about the back story of this world, or you have to spend precious words explaining it, which leads to "telling". It's best to have a very self-contained story if you write in this genre, without a lot of explanation needed.
12/14/07
Wow! What a different angle. I love your vivid and colorful descriptions. It was a little strange to mis science-fiction with the Bible. Perhaps you could have incorporated some prophecies from Revelation or Ezekiel.
Very well written.
I loved your sci-fi world. You captivated my interest throughout the entire story. The only difficulty I had was trying to imagine exactly what you were talking about. Keep writing, you have great potential.
It is an interesting way to share your ideas with your mutation people. It was much clearer reading for me this week. Did see a spelling error, but well written otherwise.