The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/06/07
I don't know why I didn't see that ending coming--I should have, given the topic--but you "got me", and I loved it.

Your exclamation points are unnecessary...it's far better to choose strong nouns and verbs to convey strong feeling. Otherwise, the reader starts to feel as if we've been bapped on the head with each sentence. Another small suggestion--avoid references like "they're always there for you. Since I don't know them, it makes more sense for you to write "they're always there for me."

Your home group sounds wonderful, and you're surely blessed to have each other.
12/06/07
I like the way you tied the article up at the end all together. The descriptions of the people were life like.