The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/07/07
I like the way that you introduced personal touches at the beginning and end of the story.

This would be a very, very short meeting! But hey, the snacks were waiting. A note: the word "Bible" and books of the Bible are always capitalized. I'd suggest that you break up Mark's long speech, either with descriptions of action (He paused to take a drink of Sprite) or with other people chiming in.
I like the little devotional on Psalm 121 - nice way to place it in the centre of the story. Great reminder of where our help comes from.
12/10/07
I was encouraged by reading your entry today (and my name's Beth :) Thanks for writing this.